Sad Eyes : Bat For Lashes

I don't like the things you don't say
Leaving it for such a long long time
Why do you show me those sad sad eyes
Each time you decide to pass on by

And when you smile those sad eyes
Look sadder and sadder still

Autumns you know sad eyes
Makes me laugh and laugh and more
I'll have a bath or make the dinner and then I'll go wait for a long long time
But still you haven't passed my door

And when you smile those sad eyes
Look sadder and sadder still

I can tell that you're lonely
But it seems now
There's nothing you want me to do
So I won't try to take the sadness from those eyes that I love
Leave it open for someone else to

And when you smile those sad eyes
Look sadder and sadder still

Trying to hold it together
Keep my love as light as a feather
Sad eyes baby it's been such a long time
Keep my heart breaking in the dark
Come and spend the day

Trying to hold it together
Keep my love as light as a feather
Sad eyes baby it's been such a long time
Keep my heart breaking in the dark
Come and spend the day


**********************************************

I thought this song explained my pass relationship.

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun...It's funny what makes us laugh!

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Taser.

The effects of the Taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Taser, one note of caution: there is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head,
which I believe came from my hair.

I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

Letter for my broken heart.

Papa,

Where to begin...Today is my 25th birthday. We've been apart for what 16 years. I'll admit somethings have been hard while other times have just been minor pot holes in my road called life. I've come to a point in my life where I feel lost again. Not so much lost about what I want to do. I have goal of paying off my debt by the end of the year and by this time next year I want to get a house, I think you'd be proud of me.

Where I'm noticing the lost feeling is my heart. I've lost it once to you and since then I thought I found a void for the missing piece to my heart...only to find that that hole was in the shape of a square and my replacement puzzle piece was a circle. Its amazing how long the blind will follow a knowing path before finally giving in to their lost hope of finding their sight.

As I sit here alone on my birthday I can't quiet stop the tears. How can a person feel so much love for being recognized for there day on this earth and yet feel so much sadness in the same breath.

I can't regret things that I should have done cause at the time of my decisions in life I make them the right choice for that particular moment. I can only move forward, can never go back. As much as I wish and hope, I know its not feasible.

I hate sounding so much like a pity party, but sometimes I just want to scream up to the heavens and say can I have just one last hug.

Love~Loves
Papa's Princess

LIFE IN THE 1500'S

Going through my old email and thought I would post something interesting:

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be . Here are some facts about the 1500's:


Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water..

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying . It's raining cats and dogs.

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old..

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat..

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a ...dead ringer..

And that's the truth. Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! !

Gaming, has my life now...

I have found a level of comfort in gaming. I must say it is quiet the stress reliever whether its me screaming at the TV screen cause my button mashing didn't go as I planned or me leaning in with remote as I tilt it in my hands.

My first dive into the gaming world was the Devil May Cry series. Totally fell in love with a cartoon, and I must say it was not my first time either. Dante struts around with his cocky attitude in a 'I can do it all' stance while taking down demons of the underworld. I slowly made my way through the games enjoying the new characters that came along the way.

Once I finished playing all four games of DMC I wanted another world to play around in. So after many trips to the game store I kept on picking up a game called Elder Scrolls-Oblivion. This soon took days and nights away from my life. Life time that I won't get back and honestly don't really care because it was riveting fun.

Next up to the plate was Fable 2 which brought a new way of communicating with other characters within a game. Seemed like a short game but compared to others still had its good points about it. Also just as enjoyable. Let alone your character changed pending on your choices in life.

My following game was Fall Out 3. Never have I had so much fun with a shooter game. Another game that will have a place in my heart. Of course how can you go wrong with killing the enemy with a teddy bear with a rocket launcher. I don't think the zombies were meant to be so scary but I would literally jump when they would pop up on the screen.

The game I am at the mercy of right now is Dragon Age! At first I started playing and was met with frustration married with the fact of I wanted to play the game but didn't understand it. It took some time but eventually I understood how to play it. I struggle trying to figure out if I want to make a mage/warrior/elf or if I want to partner with Alistair or Lilliana.

My next torture device of choice will be Dante's Inferno. Can't wait to enter Hell. ::insert wide eye glare and the spread of an evil grin::